I want to be uncomfortable!

Well I havent posted anything in like 2 weeks. I've been waiting for something to hit me that I HAD to write about. Well I think it has finally hit me. 

Well today is monday and I went to work and then came home. I went to Bible study at Ryan's which btw is my favorite thing ever!

Well yesterday at church, Pastor Neil, who is Pastor John's son, spoke and he spoke on the 5 things( I dont remember the whole message) that will I think help you grow in your walk...none of that is relevant to my blog, but anyways. He was talking about the 5 ways and he focused on the 5th way which is meditating. I didnt understand what he meant by meditate at 1st but after he explained it, it finally hit me! All of this time I've been going to church( like the past 6 months) I've been really hard on myself about not knowing where the books of the bible are and stuff like that. Like how "everyone" else knows more than I do...well i learned on Sunday that it doesnt matter how much "I know" if I dont put the little bit I do know to work than I'm no good. I always felt like "Oh I have to know where every book of the bible is or who wrote every book, and all of this other stuff" well I dont. I'm not saying that's not important, cause it is. But i can know all of that, but if I never put what I know to work, what's the use in knowing it?

Lately, I've been realizing that I'm not fitting into a "group", now dont get me wrong I LOVE my friends, but I jsut feel like there is something off, and I can't figure out what it is. Well, Pastor Neil couldn't have said it any better..."If you're getting along with the world perfectly fine, you're having no trouble with anything, then you need to step back and look at your walk. Because you should never be comfortable with the world"(not an exact quote) It was like a HUGE light bulb went off in my head when he said that. I couldnt believe it, I had been searching for this answer everywhere. I was thinking "what am I doing to make my friends angry at me, what am I doing wrong?" well I'm not saying Im perfect at all, but the reason I'm not "fitting in" is because I am different and it's good that I'm feeling uncomfortable. If I were fitting into the worlds perception then "my light" isnt turned on. As a Christian, were supposed to shine for the world to see.We're supposed to be different. I am soooooo tired of conforming to this world. Nothing in it matters in the long run. I need to take sometime and focus on my relationship with the ONLY thing that really matters, MY GOD! I don't want to be "part" of this world I want to be an inhabitant. I want to think of this as my desk at work. I want to live my life as a job for God. I want to think that when I wake up everyday, I have a job to do that day. I have to make my "product" look good, I have to be like that "blue light special" for God. I have to show others how Amazing "my product is." I dont want to blend in everyday, I want to be that person that someone looks at their friends and is like " Hey, that girl, there's something different about her." I want people to notice me for what I stand for, not what I look like or what I have. I want people to notice me, because of what i stand for and how I carry myself at all times. 

 Tonight at bible study we were singing and when we got done, John held up this like decorative ball ryan's mom had. he was like " I want to be like this ball, no matter where I look into it, it reflects me." He said, "I want to be that reflection for God, that know matter how you look at me or how close you get or how far away, that I'm always reflecting God."

I know this one was long but it what's on my heart. 

here are a few bible versus I came across tonight...read if you would like

You are my hiding place; you shall perserve , me from trouble; you shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32: 7

Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; but he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.

Psalm 32:10

Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous! For praise from the upright is beautiful. Psalm 33:1

Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips form speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:13-14

And as always, MY GOD is soooo GOOD!

Lazy!

So I've been super lazy this week and I'm way behind on my blog. Well this week has had a lot of stuff going on. On monday night I stayed with Chelsea, by the way, I love her! Well Tuesday morning, I woke up and did a little bit of needed talking to Logi...about nothing. lol  Then we went to the Verizon store and bought Logan's new phone and we met this Fantastic woman who was soo helpful. Well when we got back to his house Chelsea and I went swimming. Then off to work I went.

Wednesday, I got a text from Kaitlynn to go to Ryan's b-day party. I pretty much just hung around the house all day. A little before the party Mary and Kyle came over  and we spent an hour or so watching Youtube videos. ("classic Peg and her comfort slacks, and fashion sandles") ahahha Then we went to Kaitlynn's where we met up with Logan. It was a lot of fun...Mafia is one of my new favorite games. On the way home we decided we all wanted to have breakfast together, so we decided that after Mary and Kyle got done with their run we would come back to my house and make brunch! 

Thursday, I woke up around 10 and Kyle Logan Mary and Kaitlynn came over around 11:30...it took us 2 hours to cook breakfast and my kitchen was a DISASTER!  This was the most bittersweet day of my life. The entire time all i could think was, what if this is my last time ever hanging out with all of them again because before this day I hadnt been the same room as the 4 of them at the same time. I tried to keep this out of my mind and just enjoy myself. It was soo hard though cause I love my 4 best friends sooo much. It was put best by Kyle"the last supper"...it's soooo sad but true. Well after we finished our food, Mary had to go to work,  we had a little tramp (trampoline) time and then Kaitlynn left and Kyle Logan and I watched movies. Well after they left I had to finish cleaning then get ready for BCM. I met Chelsea at Taco Bell and we went to BCM. And as usual it was FANTASTIC! Then i came home and Mary and i had a dance party with Rachel!

Friday, I slept in until 12, then I got up and Chelsea and i went shopping and came back to my house for a little bit. Then I just sat at home doing nothing until Rachel and i decided we were hungry, and i gave in to satan and ate chick-fil-a. :( I went and rented movies for movie night (Haunting in Connecticut and He's just not that into you). Mary and Logan came over around 8 and we watched the haunting. Kyle came about half way through and hung out. Then after we got done we hung out with my mom and Rachel and little Jesse for a little bit. To chilie's it was for Kyle's sort of birthday dessert. After our fantastic dessert back to my house for wrestling(between Kyle and Logan) and just chilling. Everyone went home around 12:30. HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY KYLE! 

Altogether, it was an amazing week. I LOVE my friends soooo much and am so thankful for my them!!!!!

GOD is so GOOD!

 

Super Duper Sunday

Well i shoul'vewritten this last night, but I was pooped! Yesterday, sunday, Kyle, Logi and I went to church. Then we went to Flounder's for lunch...btw if you haven't ever eaten the seafood nachos there, it's the best thing on earth. Well after we finished lunch we all had to change so we went to the Circle K next door and changed. OMG the bathroom was DISGUSTING, seriously it was terrible! Well we all got changed we headed out to the beach. We went down to the cross, cause we don"t like to be where everyone and their momma's are. It was the most beautiful day! Like it wasn't too hot and the water was the perfect temperature. While we were out in the water Logan was like "allie look there's a big shadow" so of course I immediately start freaking out. Well it turns out we were swimming with the rays again...the last time the 3 of us were at the beach they were with us!  Well we were in the water most of the time and it was so much fun. We finally decided to go home but we wanted to hang out some more, so we decided to go back to my house and take a nap! So we got to my house and just hung out and tried to nap, but my family is so darn loud it was pretty much impossible. So we all 3 just layed in the guest room and rested! Then I took Kyle home and Logi left. It was such a beautiful day and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else!

Lately, I've been feeling as though god has been creating these day's for me (crazy I know, but I like to think he is :)

My GOD is sooooo GOOD!

Thank you God so much for putting these 2 amazing people in my life and just letting us have a beautiful day like this, God I just pray that you keep your Grace flowing though our lives and that you continue to bless us. I'm so grateful for all that you have given me. God please help me to be a light on this earth for you and to help others to find their light. It's in your Holy and precious name I pray, Amen!

What a night!

Well the day started off...i lied i'm gonna start with last night. Last night Kyle, Logan, and I hung out and had trampoline(tramp) night and I didn't end up going to bed until 4 this morning. By the way I Love them more than anything! Then this morning I had to be at work by 9, it took EVERYTHING in me to get up and go. It was a "slow day", for lack of a much more realistic word. I sat and stared at the wall for 3 hours, but on the bright side I most definately got some Jesus and me time in. Well after being trapped in that place for what seemed like days, I finally came home. Literally as I was walking in the door I get a txt from Rikie asking me to go into the Chick, so I agree since I have no other plans, and I can always use the money. :) So I go in from 3:30 to 8...Kyle was working so we had some fun. Well I come home, don't forget still working on 4 hours of sleep here , I decide I'll txt Kyle and tell him to come over after he gets off. So Kyle came over we just talked and facebooked for a few minutes, then he had to go home. Well we decided that we wanted to do something, so Kyle went home and got a shower then came and got me. We went by Erika's for a few, I really do love her, then we went to walgreens cause tomorrow Kyle, Logan and I are going to the beach after church, and Kyle insists on buying new glasses (even though in a week they'll be ruined, he will either sit on them, step on them, or something will mysteriously scratch them). We get to walgreens and we're walking in and at Walgreens they have all the products off the info-mercials , well we're looking at them and what do I spy...the BUMPIT!!!!!!! Now you have to understand I've been wanting one of these for MONTHS, and Kyle was with me the 1st time I saw it( I screamed "I NEED THAT") , so we laughed and I got super excited and I bought it! Then we left Walgreens and we were in the car and Kyle starts driving past the school, and he's like let's stop and drive up. So we drive up on stadium road and drive around near the locker rooms. We look over at the "pass gate" and guess what...it's unlocked. So Kyle finally convinces me to get out and we're gonna go down and sit. Well we get down there and if you know me you know i cried. Well we just sat and talked about everything that happened over our 4 years at Pace. It was just ridiculous that the one night that we randomly drive up to the school the gate to our "best memories" is open. Seriously, I don't think i could ask for a better night. I have THE BEST, BEST FRIEND ON EARTH! 

I have one thing to say, MY GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!  

Today

Lately I've been staying up soo late. I cannot sleep until like 3 in the morn it's terrible! Last night i went to bed at 4 and I had an appointment at 8am this morning at PJC so i got 3 hours and 20 mins of sleep. After I got out of my appt at 8:11...at total waste of my time, I went home and slept until 1! I hate sleeping all day I feel as though I get nothing accomplished. Well when I woke up I decided I would "super clean" my room. So for the next 3 hours I cleaned. 

After I got done cleaning my room I met Chelsea for BCM! I love BCM so much, it is just a group of people who are sooo in love with Jesus(what more could one person want?). Well after BCM I dropped Chelsea off at her car and went home. Kyle called me on my way home and I invited him over and we hung out for a little bit. ("you know how you know who your best friend is when you can't remember how you met them, you've been friends too long to remember") Poor Kyle I put him through so much, I made him listen to a Hannah Montana song that I LOVE twice(he hates her)! lol After Kyle went home, I came over to Chelsea's and we had a jam session singing and she played guitar...i'm okay, she's fantastic! All in all I couldn't have asked for a better day! 

God spoke to my heart at BCM today, I think I finally found somewhere that I really feel comfortable!!! :) 

My GOD is soooooo GOOD!

Random

Okay so in case you weren't aware I'm probably the biggest kid at heart, ever! Well I was laying in my bed tonight watching Disney Channel...The Proud Family( who doesnt love that show?) and a Hannah Montana song came on. I just thought I would put the lyrics of the song up here! I know it may be stupid but this is for me to remember! lol I hope that one day I feel this way about someone, even if it is cheesy! :)

Smooth talkin’

So rockin’

That a girl’s wantin’

He’s a cutie

He play’s groovy

And I can’t keep myself

From doing somethin’ stupid

Think I’m really falling for his smile

There’s butterflies when he says my name

 

(Chorus)

 

He’s got somethin’ special

He’s got somethin’ special

And when he looks at me

I want to get all sentimental

He’s got somethin’ special

He’s got somethin’ special

I can hardly breathe

Something’s telling me

Telling me maybe

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

 

He’s lightin’

Sparks are flyin’

Everywhere I go

He’s always on my mind and

I’m go crazy

About him lately

And I can’t help myself

From how my heart is racin’

Think I’m really diggin’ on his vibe

He really blows me away

 

(repeat chorus)

 

And he’s got a way

Of making me feel

Like everything I do is

Perfectly fine

The stars are aligned

When I’m with him

And I’m so into him

 

He’s got somethin’ special

He’s got somethin’ special

And when he’s looking at me

I want to get all sentimental

He’s got somethin’ special

He’s got something special

I can hardly breathe

Something’s tellin’ me

Telling me maybe

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

He could be the one

and as always GOD is sooo sooo sooo sooo GOOD!

Be Patient!

Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy; Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS."

I have been relying on this verse sooooo much lately. I remember the first time i heard it. It was quoted in my favorite movie, A Walk to Remember, I was in awe of it. I at that point had no idea it came from the Bible. I feel as if it's dumb at the age of 18 to be relying a verse of this capacity. I feel like I'm trying to rush through my life and just get what I want. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I'm not the only person struggling with what this verse says. I have heard over the past few months from so many other people that they just want to find someone to love. I keep asking myself, Allie why are you in such a hurry? I know that God has a plan for my life with this issue, but I HATE waiting. I'm going to take a step back, get my priorities straightened out and seek God. He will put whoever I am meant to have in my life there when it is the appropriate time...I just have to be patient! (easier said than done)

My  God is sooo Good!

The Purpose Driven Life: Day 1

I'm starting a new devotional and i've decided to share a little of what I read everyday with you. I hope that this can somehow touch your life as it already has in mine. I'm going to post a little something about it everyday.(or at least try to everyday)

It all starts with God.

For everything , absolutely everything above and below, visible and invisible...everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him. Colossians 1:16

Today was all about how we can figure out what God has planned for us and how we can't look to ourselves to find these answers. The book gives an example of how we have to look to the creator of something to figure out it's purpose. "If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know its purpose , and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the creator of the owner's manual could reveal its purpose." So why then do we  continue to turn to ourselves to figure out what we "want" for our ourselves, or what our purpose is? "Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open , into a spacious, free life." I know that I continuously look to myself and material things to figure out "my plan" for life. I am slowly starting to realize I need to wake up, cause there is an even bigger more AMAZING plan for my life. The sentence that hit me the hardest while reading today was: "you could reach all of your personal goals, becoming a raving success by the world's standard, and still miss the purpose for which God created you." This is so true! People all over our country and our world have money, fame, everything our flesh desires but are missing out on the most important thing they could possibly have...a relationship with Jesus. What a lot of people(myself most definately included) don't realize is that everything that you accumulate on earth will stay here when you go. You can't take it with you, it just stays here. 

2 options to help you figure out your purpose in life: 1)Speculation- pretty much just giving your best guess about what you think you were created for. 2)Revelation-turning to what God has revealed about life in His word.

God has not just left us in the dark to try and guess what our life's purpose is. He clearly tells us in His word.

1) You discover your identity and purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

2)God was thinking of you long before you ever thought about Him. His purpose for you predates your conception.

3)The purpose of your life fits into a much larger, cosmic picture that God has designed for eternity.

Point to Ponder: It's not about me.

Question to consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?

My God is soooo Amazing!!!

It's holding me back!

I'm soooo thankful the friends in my life! I haven't said that in a long time. All the time I'm just complaining about how we're growing apart and how i'm gonna miss them. Maybe I should stop whining and just enjoy the time I have with them!...good idea :) 

Well last night I had a deep conversation with a friend about a very touchy subject, and we uncovered that this specific thing is holding me back not only in life but I believe in my walk with God.  It was crazy that we talked about things holding you back in life, because this morning what did we talk about in church....how things hold you back. That wasn't really like the main point of the message but that specific part just hit really deep after talking about it last night. Pastor John, talked about how things in life can hold you back from really being free. I believe this is how I've been feeling for a while now. I wasn't sure  how to handle this whole situation with the thing holding me back, and i'm still not really sure but i'm working on it! 

I'm gonna take a step back and look at what really matters to ME! 

It's AMAZING (an understatement) how God can take something that is really beating up on your heart and make it come to light!... GOD is soooooo GOOD!

Is He answering?

Every time I have prayed like within the last few weeks it has been about the same thing:"God, please ease my pain about my friends, let me be okay with this whole moving on thing" I know he always listens but I don't know what to do with the answers he's giving me. All i'm getting out of Him is "you will make new friends, you'll still have your old ones but I will bring you new friends." I guess really I'm struggling a lot with patience. I am trying to be so patient but I'm terrible at it. I know that god has a plan for my life, I just have to let it play out.  I guess I just need to start quit worrying about it all the time, because the more i worry about it the more I get stressed out. 

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I need to quit worrying about myself and dive into "my eternal life."

Just a random thought for the day!

Lately, I've been trying to bring myself closer to God. I figured out that one of the biggest ways I could do this is, to be aware of what kind of music I'm listening to. Well I've been slowly but surely weeding out the "bad" music from my life. I have decided that I LOVE christian music. I can still dance to it, and sing and it doesn't always have to be hymns. Well now that I've rambled on about that...the whole point of this blog was to tell you about a line of a song that has lately been really hitting home. In my adventure into my "new" music, I have come across a girl named Francesca Battistelli. Her music isn't necessarily praise music, but it is very uplifting. Honestly, it brings me back "down to earth" when I listen to it.

This is the moment

It’s on the line

Which way you gonna fall

In the middle

Between wrong and right

But you know after all

 

(chorus) It’s your life

What you gonna do

The world is watching you

Everyday the choices you makes

Say what you are and who your

Heart beats for

Its and open door

It’s your life

 

Are you

Who you

Always said you would be

With a sickened feeling in your chest

Always waiting

On someone else to fix you

Tell me when did you forget

 

(chorus)

 

you live the way that you believe

this is your opportunity

to let your life

be the one that lights the way

yea, yea

 

(chorus) x2, 

 

its your life……

This song just hit really deep in my heart when I heard it. The words in it inspire me. My favorite lines are... It's your life, what ya gonna do? the world is watching you. Everyday, the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for...it's an open door, it's your life! These few lines really made me think. What I do and say is a huge deal! I'm not saying that I know people watch me cause I'm just that important. Im just saying that I need to make sure I am always on top of everything thing, how I react to things. Cause if I'm trying to witness to someone, how is it going to look is that person sees me doing something that contradicts the lifestyle I am helping them to understand!? 

I just thought I would share something that has been on my heart today!