Random Thoughts for the day!

It has been a while since I have written on here. I guess, I just haven't had anything worth saying. Lately, I have been thinking, what my purpose in life is. I had a great friend tell me the other day that I'm a nuturing person. I guess that word would work. Most of the time though I think of myself as a whining, emotional basket case. I have recently decided that I want to go in a different direction with my life plan. I have been feeling this way for a while, but I was too scared to say it out loud to anyone for fear of the thing I want to do, actually coming true. I know, how ridiculous is that? It was my rationality though. I want more than anything to serve God with my life. I do not feel as though I am accomplishing that where I am at in my life right now. We as Christians are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I want to be this so badly, but am so afraid. I have joked around about it many times, that I want to quit school and become a missionary, but I know that this is not the path that I am supposed to take. I feel as though my calling in life is to serve God through serving others. I know that having a college degree is not something that I have to have to serve God, but I think that it would help me along the way though.

I am not one to normally step out of my comfort zone and completely change my mind on something. It is time for a change. I have lived a life full of difficulty and hardships. I think of this not as a cursing from God, but a blessing! I know that the reason that I have had the trials in my life is because I am meant to help others with the trials in their lives. God gives us hardships so that we can help others to go through their hardships. Each person is a part of God's will. It has taken me 19 years to figure out why these "bad" things were happening to me. I am part of God's glorius and beautiful plan. In our eyes many time, God's will is not what we want, but that is because we can't see the whole plan. We only see what we want to see, not what God sees.

I know that I have jumped all over the place with this post, but it is because I have about a million thoughts going in my head right now, and I took cold medicine. lol

The whole reason I started this was to tell about this thought that I have been having the last couple of days. That thought is that I feel differently than most people. I don't mean like touching something. I mean like the way my mind works. Most people can feel for other people, but I feel as though I take on peoples pain, peoples happiness. I feel so deeply for people. This is a blessing from God, even though most of the time I am embarrassed by it. My friends, I'm sure always think "oh no, here we go again Allie is crying." or "ugh, Allie is really happy all of the time, it's so annoying." Well, it isn't anything I can help. I know when it is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad. It's not that I like to cry, it's just that how my body copes with things. I feel things so intensly that sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach. I know that you make think that I am totally weird, but, it is me. I have learned that there is nothing I can do about it. The people who love me just accept me for who I am! Thank goodness there are people that love me!

If anyone reads this and would like to pray for me, that would be very much appreciated! If I can return the favor let me know.

-Allie :)